Thursday, October 28, 2010

Oprah Network to be 100% Bitch-Free

Oprah Winfrey has confirmed that when she launches her new OWN network that it would be bitch-free.

The talk-show titan told the audience at Maria Shriver’s Women’s Conference that there will be no “tearing people down” on her watch.  She assured them that her network would be fun and entertaining, in which case, it would be devoid of opportunities to call people bitches.

We asked one of Oprah’s minions for comment who told us, “While it’s true that most people think it’s fun to call deserving women bitches, Oprah never got on board with that idea.  The new network’s still a work in progress, but she made it clear after Behar’s latest tirade that the word ‘bitch’ would not be allowed on OWN.  We can’t even use it when we are doing a puff piece about dog shows.  Oprah also alluded that she may not even let any actual bitches appear on her network.  So, I guess that means that Joan Rivers, Sharon Osbourne and Courtney Love are definitely out.  I wouldn’t expect we’d be seeing Sarah Palin either, but at least in that situation, Oprah can just pretend it’s about her policy of not being too political on TV -- even though she acted like she practically wanted to give Obama a lap-dance on the air back in 2008.”

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