Congress Jumps the Shark

Washington, DC – While they weren’t approving bills to aid heroes whose faces could literally fall off from toxic element exposure, our U.S. Congress was busy jumping the shark this week. Both the House and Senate approved a bill to limit the lucrative trade of shark fins due to the demand for shark fin soup.  Yes, really.

When there has been so much criticism that due diligence was not given to the 911 first responders bill by Republicans before the Christmas holiday break (including the week after Christmas, a.k.a, the Sacred Week of Overindulgence Repentance), this news of our lawmakers’ skewed priorities is very troubling, to say the least.

Unsolicited Drivel caught up with a source on the Hill who told us, “Just hold on, okay? The Senate just reached a deal this afternoon to approve the 9/11 Health Bill and it looks like Congress will approve it as well before the Christmas break, as we cheapened it up a good measure to stiff them on the benefit coverage.  I can’t explain why Republicans have more sympathy for vicious sharks facing possible mutilation than scores of wounded heroic fellow Americans.  Uhhhh, no, really. I definitely can’t.  Turn that microphone off! No further comment.”