Long-time viewer Karen Blankman told Unsolicited Drivel, “the secret got leaked this morning and it turns out it’s just that Oprah has a half sister, Patricia. It's the second sibling named Patricia, too. I guess her mom didn't have one of those baby naming books. Anyway, I spent all weekend thinking that we were going to find out that Oprah's baby she thought died when she was fourteen had really survived and was kidnapped by a nurse in the hospital because they knew Oprah was already an overachiever, and the kids they had at home were incredibly lazy. What's so 'core-rocking' about a half sister? My traveling salesman dad was a complete such a complete prick that I probably have half sisters all across Europe and Asia. Like I care about somebody who just found out they are related to a billionaire when I’m sitting here eating a microwave burrito for lunch? And Oprah’s been known to pay her relatives to stay away, so that Patricia chick totally won the genetic lottery. Bitch.”
1 comments so far :
Narcissus here, just wanna say, I took lessons from her. Really felt like a grasshoppa, ya no whut I mean?
Post a Comment