Washington, DC – Republican presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann was downplaying the resignation of her campaign manager yesterday and Unsolicited Drivel has uncovered the reason why – God told Ed Rollins to resign!
God sent us an official email stating, “Let me first clarify that I played no role in Newt Gringrich’s staff resigning. He was able to achieve that exodus just by being himself. But I did instruct Ed Rollins to resign from Bachmann’s campaign staff and cite ‘health’ reasons. I do believe Michele has as good a chance as anyone to reach the White House, but a lot of her followers have gotten pretty lackadaisical in their faith lately, despite what they preach. I feel the best way to test that faith will be to let Rick Perry get all the way to the GOP nomination to scare the living bejesus (sorry, son) out of Americans. Then I will swoop in at the last minute in November like a Greek god and perform a deus ex machina and turn Obama back into a real, empathetic Democrat to save the day. As hardly anybody reads your website, my plan should be pretty much foolproof.”
1 comments so far :
If it was really God, I think he could have saved some bother and just hit her with a lightning bolt.
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