Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Michele Bachmann Will Not Let Poo-free Meat Stand in the Way of Job Creation

Des Moines, IA - Even though GOP presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann is being slaughtered in the polls by a rootin', tootin’, executin’ cowbody, it’s not enough to stop her from keeping American jobs safe for cattlemen despite the threat of E. coli.

While posing next to a slab of meat that would make Rocky Balboa groan, she told reporters, “These food safety regulations are part of the problem in preventing job creation and have become the overkill.  The stricter they get, the more jobs they take away.  From everyone on the cattle farm, to the slaughterhouse, to the fine people at the Burger King, and even the cardiac specialists who work in the hospital emergency room.  America can’t stand to lose any more jobs in this economy and that’s just what the FDA has planned for us.  That’s why from this day forward, I hope you will join me in my stalwart efforts to pray the E. Coli away.  And remember, always cook your contaminated meat patties to a full 165 degrees. Unless you're serving them to Rick Perry.”

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