Wednesday, March 14, 2012

“March Madness” Software Filter Not Going To Be Ticket To Wealth

Fairfax, VA – An area man had recently convinced himself that programming software to filter out Internet access to the NCAA’s March Madness would be his ticket to financial independence once and for all. Unfortunately, it only made people think he was a douche.

Kevin White told Unsolicited Drivel, “Loss of productivity due to worker obsession with the NCAA playoffs is approaching $200 million per annum between time spent on them filling out their brackets and viewing the basketball games in the office. I thought my software I was working on would be hugely popular in the business community. But then I found out that most people, including my boss, participate in the gambling in an effort primarily to tolerate each other’s incompetence and lack of regard for one another the other 11 months a year. So I couldn’t sell it for shit. Especially NOT to the marketing department. The CEO at my company did suggest that if I could figure out how to calculate how much time workers spend in the can reading Maxim or Sports Illustrated or texting when they're supposed to  be creating PowerPoint presentations on how to screw our clients that will make the company brass want to poke their own eyeballs out, he’d be interested in paying me for that.”

0 comments so far :

Post a Comment

opinions powered by