Pippa Middleton’s Ass Under Fire

Paris – A very shapely ass, which is attached to the Duchess of Cambridge’s little sis’ Pippa Middleton, was seen with a gun over the weekend and seems to have caused a real bang. According to Britain’s Daily Mail Telegraph Sun Tattler – who published the photos - Middleton’s ass was spotted with three (count’em - three) male friends in a convertible you likely can’t afford and one of the rowdy lads, the driver, allegedly pointed a gun at a photographer.

An insider who hacked a phone from one of the boys to obtain pictures of the joyride told Unsolicited Drivel, “Just imagine if Princess Diana had had a gun in that limo. She might still be alive today and we would be criticizing her ass via a wide-angle lens into her 50s! Anyway, the 28-year sister-in-law of Prince William could face charges. If Pippa’s ass, or as we like to call it – arse or bum - is found guilty, the real challenge may be not how it looks in a jumpsuit, but for the magistrate to resist the temptation to sentence it to time in the men’s prison instead of putting the ass in with the rest of the naughty girls in the women’s where it belongs!”