Cornel West: Obama is a Republican in Blackface!

No longer BFFs!

Washington, DC -Author, activist and sometimes seemingly unhinged person, Cornel West, announced in an interview this week with Democracy Now that President Barack Obama is just a "Rockefeller Republican in Blackface."  West was then allegedly heard off camera by staffers admitting that he was looking forward to changing his name from "Cornel West" to "Captain Obvious West" and couldn't wait to order his new monogrammed towels from J. Crew.

We at Unsolicited Drivel wondered why such a learned man as Mr. West would waste his breath on spouting the obvious.  So naturally, we felt compelled to contact him for comment.

U.D.: "Corny, may we call you that?  Why would you waste your brain power on telling Americans what they already know?  How else you do you think the President was able to convince those whack-jobs in that penis-shaped state to vote for him?"

CW: "Yes, you may call me 'Corny' Drivel Lady, but only because I have heard you are a bad-ass and I love your description of the great state of Florida.  Appropriate as penises like Allen West are no longer representing them.  However, Mr. Obama, or 'Barry' as I used to call him when we used to shoot hoops together, has caved to the Republicans so many times, on so many an issue, that I have lost count.  I am assuming he's not going to change this term.  I don't think he has even used the word 'change' since 2008.  He no longer uses the words 'middle class' either."

U.D.: "Well Corny, we were just wondering if you'd been hiding a under a rock for the last four years.  Thanks for the clarification though.  Are you aware of Barack's secret plot to only let Sasha and Malia marry Latinos so that when their future smarty pants kids run for office they can be Rockefeller Republicans in olive skin face?"

CW: (Head explodes.)