Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Jessica Simpson Announces Plan to Remain Pregnant for Life

I can't wait.  Another year of pregnancy!
Los Angeles – Occasional pop diva, full time buffalo meat hater, and dental hygiene murderess the lovely Jessica Simpson announced via one of her new Weight Watchers commercials today that she is expecting her second child already after giving birth earlier this year after a 14-month pregnancy.

Speaking to Unsolicited Drivel exclusively, Simpson told us, “I’m so happy and feel so blessed Drivel Lady. Praise Jesus.  I love bein’ pregnant ‘cause I git to eat so much.  Plus, it keeps my boobs in the news.  They need all the publicity they can git since Pappa Joe turned in one of them there homosexuals and don’t talk about them no more. I plan to be pregnant from now on! It makes me horny for my fiancé nobody can remember the name of too!!  Oh, and thanks for giving me no criticism for calling my baby girl Mawell so I can nick name her ‘Maxi.’  Would you believe I got a hate tweet from that little Suri Cruise telling me I shoulda just have gone ahead and name my baby ‘Kotex?’  That little brat needs a whoopin’ with a hickory stick.”

1 comments so far :

Papa Joe said...

I still like Jessie's hooters. I just like peen more.

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