Elisabeth Hasselbeck to Leave "The View?"

New York - Controversial conservative The View TV host Elisabeth Hasselbeck's renewal contract is rumored to have been "eaten by the dog." Really, just caught in the paper shredder at ABC Studios. This is all RUMOR, mind you. But the fact that the news was dropped on a Friday night and that shrieking harpy has kept her mouth shut all weekend... well.... YOU do the math. It's been reported that the squeaky clean, yet better informed and groomed Brooke Shields will be Hasselbeck's replacement. No word on which comedian with replace Joy Behar. But we were told by a pal that ABC was considering a drag queen to raise ratings.

Needless to say, we knew our readers would miss Elisabeth after her ouster, but the survey shows they have more pressing concerns.