Monday, April 15, 2013

Ghost of Anne Frank to Justin Bieber: “As if!!”

Amsterdam – Increasingly delusional bubblegum pop star, Justin Bieber, came under fire (but should probably have been gassed) over the weekend when he suggested that if the late Anne Frank was alive today he hoped she would be one of his (also delusional) fans.

As is common practice here at the Unsolicited Drivel office, we whipped out our Ouija board to contact the spirit of the Jewish Holocaust icon.  Ms. Frank told us:

“Justin Bieber?  As if!!  His lyrics in, what’s that song?... Baby, make Hava Nagila seem like Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Now were I alive when Mark Wahlberg was leading Marky Marky and the Funky bunch, I’d hit me some of that Marky Mark action for sure!  I don’t understand why Mr. Bieber thinks that someone with more than half a brain would be fanatical about his music?  Maybe he got a bad batch of hash in Amsterdam over the weekend?   I suggest he should just get it over with and marry that other entitled, self-involved little lunatic.  What’s her name?  Oh yes.  Lindsay Lohan! Then they can ego each other to death.  I can’t imagine what Hitler would have done to both of them in Germany! But unlike me, they probably would have deserved it."

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