Friday, October 31, 2014

Christie Aide Advises Whom to Yell At Next

My stomach is so growling.
Trenton – It’s been bad week for New Jersey Governor (and human hot air balloon) Chris Christie. The week was so bad, that if the GOP had approved Obama’s Surgeon General choice and had the doctor seen a video of Christie eating a pyramid of Cronuts, Dr. Murthy probably would have uttered, “Meh.”  First an asymptomatic nurse he quarantined for Ebola against her will threatened to sue him, and THEN he was caught on camera telling still beleaguered victims of Hurricane Sandy to quote “Shut up and sit down!”  stopping just short of screaming Fuggetaboutit!!!

An aide of Christie’s told Unsolicited Drivel, “Donors to his PAC for his Presidential bid for 2016 were starting to get pissed off over all of his public outbursts and signs of his being more arrogant than Donald Trump... like that's even possible! One of his top advisors suggested if he really wants to win the hearts of the American voters he should try picking on someone his own size. Wait. That’s not feasible.  Apparently the advisor suggested he now only pick on reality TV stars because America loves shouty and self-involved people, so Chris’ personality would mesh perfectly with theirs. As you would guess,  it was suggested that he start with The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

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