He’s So Vain and We’re So Disappointed

Simon says…David Geffen?!?  Millions of women who wished they had banged Warren Beatty, Kris Kristofferson, pre-Islam Cat Stevens, Mick Jagger and James Taylor when he still had hair, were disappointed today when their fantasies became not nearly as much fun as Carly Simon finally revealed that David Geffen, the head of Elektra/Asylum Records, was the inspiration behind her hit song “Your So Vain.” Boy, did that guy who purchased the answer to that question at that charity auction get gypped! Speaking to Uncut magazine she teased: "I'm just going to tell you this. The answer is on the new version of You're So Vain. There's a little whisper - and it's the answer to the puzzle." In the new version there is one part where if you play it backwards you can hear her whispering the name “David” forwards.  (Also, "Paul is dead.") No wonder his scarf was apricot…Geffen is openly gay.  So that must mean she couldn’t have been mad about a failed relationship. Personally, we’d rather stare into a total eclipse of the sun than see him naked. Some say she was scorned because Geffen was promoting Joni Mitchell’s career much more at the time.  Mitchell even wrote her own song about David Geffen, “Free Man in Paris."  One unanswered question regarding Geffen in the lyrics is her singing about him being with a “wife of a close friend.”  Unless maybe they were shoe shopping?  Oh, well.  Even if Carly didn’t hit that, at least we won’t have to still have that argument in our heads anymore about trying to reconcile how the color apricot could possibly go with Warren Beatty’s skin tone or would make Mick Jagger look like even more of a living corpse. It’s been a long 38 years of hetero fashion faux pas.