Easter is an Eggcellent Time to Explore Your Crafty Side!

Even Paris Hilton enjoys a good session for arts and crafts as you can see from her Tweet.  Although, it still doesn't explain what "profects" are. Crafting can especially help you relax after a bender of all-night clubbing.  Paris probably spent most of last night getting ready for Easter,  and you can too!  Here are some projects to keep you busy well into Sunday.


Even though Jesus got most of his suffering over with pretty much all in one weekend, as opposed to having to turn the other cheek while being bitch-slapped both physically and emotionally, seemingly from birth until infinity like we have to do nowadays, it shouldn’t stop you from emulating him.

Here’s an idea suitable even for all artsy beginners:

My First Crown of Thorns
Supplies:
A grapevine wreath
Colored construction paper or tissue paper
Hammer, nails and or Gorilla Glue
Optional: glitter, crepe paper and or ribbons

Paint the crown (wreath) a light amber, auburn, brick, bronze, buff, burnt sienna, chestnut, chocolate, cinnamon, or cocoa,  (or use markers or crayons to color it). Watch the paint dry. Decorate it with glitter or staple a ribbon or two to it, and wear.  Prepare to be persecuted for your fashion sense on top of the usual day-to-day belittling.

Rogaine Chia Pet/Medical Marijuana Egghead
Supplies:
Free Range Eggshells
Miracle Gro™ Potting soil
“Grass” seeds (available in the shoebox in the back of Dad’s closet)
Tempera paint or magic markers
Illegally obtained prescription drugs
Optional: glitter, crepe paper and or ribbons

Clean eggshells and pat them gently dry with lint free, cruelty free cheesecloth.  To give the pot plant, or, uh, plant pot a solid base, glue a small matchbook cover from the exotic nightclub you found in the glove compartment of Dad's car to the bottom of the eggshell. Or, use a small pipe cleaner like Dad uses to clean that glass tube on the shelf in the closet above where you found the seeds to form a base.  If using hot glue, be sure to wear protective eye wear.  If using white glue, be sure to let it set until next Easter.  Fill shells with soil, seeds, and sprinkle with one of those bootleg tablets of Canadian of Rogaine™ you crushed up.  The seeds may take a few weeks to germinate, but will be worth the wait if you are seeking to not have the word “irritate” come up in the same sentence with your name so often.