Flip-Flop: Obama Reverses Position on Offshore Drilling!

WASHINGTON – Somewhere, in the wilds of Wasilla, Sarah Palin should be waking up right about now to a steaming cup of Caribou Coffee, only to have her head explode.  That is, if Sarah read the newspaper.  In a surprising reversal of policy, by making a decision that may finally convince many that he was a grumpy old white man in a previous life, President Barack Obama plans to lift the ban on offshore oil drilling in the U.S.  This will be no thrill to those whose battle cry in 2008 was a shrill, “Drill Baby, Drill!” As the U.S. uses 25% of the oil in the world, and only has 2% of the reserves, this decision, which would hardly be enough to supply power to our Seadoos for an entire Saturday of jet skiing, is leaving many scratching their heads.  Some skeptics of Obama’s motives are concluding one possible explanation for this decision could be because if there are any missteps in the U.S.’ handling of Iran’s pursuit of nuclear power, it could cause them to halt the flow of oil out of spite.  Others believe it may be just a simple political strategy to confuse the living crap out of conservatives at the polls this November.  Either way, the Democrats won’t be receiving any campaign donations from environmental groups.  Or, Al Gore.  They could probably rely on Exxon Mobil, though.