Man Totally Cannot Take Another Pledge Drive Right Now

Washington, DC - All things not considered?   A local man, James Chaffee, was totally bitching all the way through his local public radio affiliate, My Public Radio’s pledge drive this week.  He was bitching so much, in fact, he didn’t have the time or energy to turn the radio dial back to costly satellite.  He actually said he’d rather just complain all the way through the week-long pledge drive, rather than having to just turn the dial to escape it.  He simply could not be bothered tune out the station even though it was excruciatingly painful to listen to the radio hosts make banter about shows they probably don’t even listen to themselves, and offer up CDs of some lame, not even vaguely humorous monologue-performing dude the general public has probably never even heard of, despite the dude having made it all the way to Carnegie Hall instead of being homeless person, which he’s probably more qualified for, but he now lives in France, so who even cares?  It seems like they even wait for this dude to come back to town to talk about only getting the lint from his dad’s bellybutton for a Christmas stocking stuffer during his monologues to start the pledge drive. In Chafee's opinion,  this particular pledge drive was even worse than having to hear the "Powder Milk Biscuit" song for the umpteenth billionth freaking time, with a hangover to boot, and then being made to think of ketchup slathered on top.  Yet, he still wouldn’t change the channel – maybe just out of spite.  He thinks he'll just have to wait until they start airing that show about the super depressed Americans who sound like the are on the verge of suicide as their American dreams turned out to be a bogus sham, or commit suicide himself when the fall pledge drive starts - whichever comes first.