Nice Save? Not! SNL Hires Host Betty White to Be “Mother of All Comedy”

New York – In the mother of all saves against our accusations of ageism, Saturday Night Live has announced that Betty White will indeed host on their special “Mother’s Day” show on May 8th.  For some reason beyond our comprehension, the childless White will be joined by a cavalcade of mothers not currently on the show including: Tina Fey, Rachel Dratch, Amy Poehler, Molly Shannon, Maya Rudolph, and Ana Gasteyer.  The theme will be: All of us women are invited back to celebrate being mothers, except for Betty, but we were forced to hire a talent to be reckoned with to host through the pressures of social networking media, and couldn’t come up with a better idea for a theme to keep her on the periphery so she doesn’t blow us all off the stage and expose us for being the second-rate talents we are*.  When reached for comment, Ms. White’s golden retriever, Pontiac, stated, “sure, she may not be a mother to a human, but I couldn’t be more blessed as her fur child.  But SNL needn't worry about her stealing their thunder.  I’m sure that by the first skit, or at the very least, the second skit, the audience will totally have forgotten all about Betty’s previous sixty plus successful years in show business.”


*Sorry, but I went to college with performers that probably have crapped funnier stuff out of their asses.