Consumer Watch: Save Your $$

Today was supposed to be my magical day in the garden.  So magical in fact, that fairies were going to perch themselves on my shoulder to give me a sense of well-being as I planted lily bulbs while enjoying weather in the 70s.   So naturally, despite what my Barbie-clone weather girl predicted - it rained.

As I was stuck inside this afternoon cleaning, it reminded me of some products that I really hate and this is an opportunity to steer unwitting consumers away from them.

Mr. Clean Magic Eraser – I had tried this product when it first came out and thought it was crap.  The dumb stuff I’ll do once I get a coupon in my hand and I see the words “soap scum.”  Speaking of words, whenever I see the word “magic” in a product’s name, I should know it will be anything but.  A product that is marketed "as seen on TV" – not something organic, like say, mushrooms.  That same reasoning DOES NOT apply to “Magic Rocks.” Confusing, I know.  In any case, I tried the new and improved Magic Eraser for my shower and it is the same as always - expensive as hell and they tear easily in half if you hastily remove them from the box, do not perform as promised or rinse out clean without tearing them into quarters by squeezing them in a fury from being ripped off.  You might get the same effect from stale marshmallows.  Do a test patch first to make sure they don't scratch your fiberglass shower stall.

Scrubbing Bubbles Toilet Cleaning Gel – Again, I got suckered into buying it because of a coupon.  I guess if they sold sugar coated dog turds and put a coupon in the Sunday paper, I might consider those too.  I worry about myself sometimes.  Speaking of turds, this product isn’t going to clean anything remotely to do with them.  They give you this thing that’s like a plunger to stick it on, kind of a gross process in itself, and then a blob just clings there looking like a green booger in your toilet bowl doing not much else until it dissolves and goes on to help destroy our ecosystems.

Sham-Wow!! – I’ll be honest - I only bought it to clean up cat pee off the carpet.  Anybody with a cat knows this cannot be done but you would be amazed at my skill at deluding myself.  It absorbs pretty well the first time you use it, but after washing and putting it through the drier it loses some absorbency and also gets those annoying little linty bumps on it so it looks like the cheap rag it really is.  You won’t be cleaning up any oil spills with it either.  I’m still guessing it might be effective in mopping up hooker blood, but personally, won’t ever know for sure.  As a compulsive hand washer, I usually just use them as a hand towels.  Or sometimes to mop up spills when the cats have a brawl at the water bowl.

Shark Steam Mop –  I hate this product without even owning it.  I would love to clean without chemicals, but every time I see someone post on Facebook that they are getting one, they never put up a follow-up post to say if it worked or not.  That’s a bad sign.  Let me know if I'm wrong. Meanwhile, I'm glad they don’t offer coupons for it. If only dirt floors could become fashionable again.  A hobo could probably subsist on what I drop on mine.