“We have a couple of relatives that like to send kind of offbeat and unusual gifts each year. Sometimes it’s a Snuggie, sometimes it's an impoverished village in Africa that they purchased with cows. This year, they even FedEx-ed us a homeless person just to prove he could get through airport security! He's staying on after the holiday and we'll use him to replace our son who joined the Church of Scientology. It’s gifts like these that keep the spirit of giving alive for us during the holiday season.”
- Mary K. – Boca Raton, FL
“Faking that I actually celebrate the holiday with everyone from my hairdresser, to the mailman who drops my Christmas cards in the bushes, to the bag boy at the Shopper’s Food Weirdhouse. Unfortunately, it backfires on my non-crass-commercialism ass as they all expect a holiday tip.”
- Kevin W. – Baltimore, MD
“My favorite tradition really is inviting friends and relatives over to the house and having them host an elaborate holiday dinner party just for me. I see that they bring plenty of trimmings for the entryway, fireplace and stairway and threaten them with my hot glue gun if the trimmings aren’t hung just so. Then I make sure they prepare nicely decorated desserts with those little toxic silver dipped icing balls I’ll never eat. Towards the end of the evening I feign a migraine headache and make all of them wait up for Santa, agreeing to hold him hostage so I can deck him in the hall if he doesn’t bring me a meaningful life.”
-Narcissa P. – Bridgehampton, NY
“Going home to Mom’s or maybe Dad’s to decorate the tree and realizing they haven’t moved and left no forwarding address since my last supervised release from rehab. That’s definitely my favorite holiday tradition!” -Lindsay L., Los Angeles, CA
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