Make Me Look Like This, or Prepare to Die

That's right, Killer Klown from Outer Space Moammar Khaddafy (English name: "Johnny 'Blubber Lips' Marconi") once visited a plastic surgeon. In addition to having hair plugs added and fat taken from his fat ass and put in his cheeks to make him look "more like an asshole," the pockmarked strongman also had pockmarks added to "achieve that whole scary bad guy thing, ya know what I mean?" The dickheadish dictator refused anesthesia during the operation, stating that "I have not closed my eyes in 20 years, because, you know, someone will probably try to kill me." The 1995 visit came to light after the surgeon, Brazilian Dr. Liacyr Ribeiro, contacted Brazilian authorities after being contacted Wednesday by someone claiming "Not" to be Ghaddafi, but asking if the doctor could "come to Tripoli" to "make an aging arab man (who is definitely not Qadaffy but who is quite wealthy and will pay very handsomely for your services) look like Minnie Mouse so he could escape from the invading imperialist forces of the corrupt west, for personal reasons, nothing political, ya know?" Upon hearing from Brazilian authorities, NATO forces in the area issued a Iraq-style "wanted list" deck of playing cards featuring Disney characters to all allied forces in the region. Kadaffi sons Seif Al Islam and Motassim apparently are represented by Chip and Dale, while Charlie Sheen somehow appears as Tigger, perhaps because of all that "Tigger blood" in him.