Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Lindsay Lohan to Pitch Reality Show Based Upon Recurrent Scuffles

Los Angeles – If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!  Fading starlet Lindsay Lohan is allegedly planning to pitch a new reality show based upon her recurrent scuffles with people in and outside and anywhere near nightclubs.  Tentatively titled Who Wants to Accuse Lindsay Lohan of Battery? the show will primarily center around people who claim Lohan either threw a drink in their face, scratched them, or clipped them with her car.  As there will never be any credible witnesses because they are either drunk or high, the plaintiffs will have to convince the studio audience and America about the validity of their claims that will be voted on via text message, or by simply throwing their smart phones at the TV.

A spokesperson for Lohan told Unsolicited Drivel, “We got the idea when some woman accused Lindsay of assaulting her at the Standard Hotel last week so soon after she allegedly hit that one guy with her car instead of clipping baby strollers like she usually does. Lindsay insists she was at home on the night in question watching Homeland and why wouldn’t I believe she could be so engrossed in a show about another bi-polar hot mess that she would forgo clubbing?  That’s when I realized that pretty much anyone would want to accuse Lindsay of battery, given the chance, and I came up with the idea for the show. I can’t wait to pitch it.  It will also be helpful to have this as a backup project once she ruins the memory of beloved screen legend Elizabeth Taylor in her upcoming Lifetime movie biopic and Liz’s fans try and club her even without the TV cameras involved.”

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