God Confesses He Does Not Appreciate Palin Comparison

Heaven - Stand-up comedian and future reality TV star, Sarah Palin, is still defending herself to media about “Palmgate,” but she may have finally taken things too far.  Palin was clearly seen with crib notes on one of her hands last month during a speech at a Tea Party gathering.  Now she is insisting her actions were perfectly acceptable as God once scribbled a name on the palm of his hand to remember it in Isaiah 49:16. 

When reached for comment, God denied he ever owned any Sharpie markers.  He also insisted, “I’m only going to say this once, and I’m going to do it in English, not Aramaic, so you followers can get it through your heads.   I am STILL smarting from those of you who believed I put George W. Bush in charge and now you are comparing me to that quitter, Sarah Palin?  I’m doing battle with Satan here, and do not appreciate this ridiculous distraction. She wouldn't have even been invited on the ark.  I’d rather have you Earthly beings see my face on a Cheeto that ends up going to auction on eBay than be compared to that woman.  What do you take me for?  Ah, ye of little faith! Just for that blasphemy, I think I shall put a plague upon thee! Enjoy thy festering boils!”

Previously published.  We will return live on 7/19.